BIO: [update July 12, 2005] [real bio]

James Azrael graduated from Harvard University at the young age of 13 and was shortly followed by his masters degree in music theory from Juliard at the age of 15.

Mr. Azrael is quite an accomplished actor, having been on the silver screen more times than Kevin Bacon, and carried home four seperate Oscars (including Best New Actor for Far & Away, and supporting wins for Titanic, Fellowship of The Ring, and Tron) and countless Golden Globes for his work both in-front and behind-the-scenes.

James Azrael's biggest accomplishment may be in his writings. You may already know, he is the author of the Bible (King George version) and many of Shakespeare's plays.   Mr. Azrael also possesses telekinetic powers that he has sworn to only use for the good of mankind and to remove women's clothing on the street from a distance. However, he has been known to destroy a building from time to time and comb the wreckage for office supplies.

On top of his acting career and music career (you may remember him as Gene Simmons of the band KISS, Vinnie Paul of the band Pantera, and James Azrael of the band Court Jester, amongst others), Azrael finds time to volunteer at the local breast enlargement facility with the quality control department.

His pasttimes include getting drunk on Jack Daniel's Tennessee Whiskey and watching ducks choke on those plastic things that hold a six-pack together.